November 6th, 2009

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Higher Education

"The exploitation of syntactical certainty fails to penetrate the myths obscuring the hermeneutic of the real."

That's not Lacan or Bataille. It's the Academic Sentence Generator. Click "Tell me how it works" in the lower-left-hand corner for the delightfully lucid explanation of why these sentences are so bad.

Deciphering Academese, by PhD Comics. A paper from the prestigious Intl. Journal of Temporal Deflective Behavior. This page is reached by hitting a panic button on any of the PhD comic strips.

Grad School Is Hell, by the immortal Matt Groening.

The truth about grad students, post-docs, and professors

A grad student, a post-doc, and a professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.

The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."

"Me first! Me first!" says the grad student. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman who sunbathes topless." Poof! He's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the post-doc. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! He's gone.

"You're next," the Genie says to the professor.

The professor says, "I want those guys back in the lab after lunch."


And, because I love learning if not always academia, Fun with physics: Bill Bryson visits the Large Hadron Collider.

Julia Child's Primordial Soup.